"I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. The pains of death surrounded me, and the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the Lord: "O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!" Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed, therefore I spoke, "I am greatly afflicted!"....... What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me? I will take up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord now in the presence of all His people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. O Lord, truly I am Your servant; I am Your servant, the [daughter] of Your maidservant; You have loosed my bonds. I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord now in the presence of all His people, in the courts of the Lord's house, in the midst of you, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 116
Truly, this psalm could have been written for me, because every single word expresses exactly what I need to express. I am so overwhelmed by God's incredible grace and goodness that I just had to share it with you. This last week found me in the midst of a very difficult struggle. It was one of the most difficult, frightening trials I have ever had to face before and I was at the end of my rope physically and emotionally. Finally, when I had absolutely nothing left to give and felt like there was no hope at all, I cried out aloud to God, "O God! I can't do this on my own anymore! Please come and rescue me! Save me....!" It was that moment when I just threw myself on Him in desperation that He chose to "... set me in a broad place." (Ps. 118:5) That moment of God's rescue sits firmly planted in my mind as a lavish display of His grace. I was willfully treading where His Spirit had warned me not to tread. I deserved the mess I was in, and He was certainly under no obligation to get me out of it. Yet He chose to save me anyway. That is so incredibly amazing to me! I never viewed God's grace like this before. Bekah posted something on her blog today that describes it so perfectly that I just had to steal it and put it on here:
"Grace is not God's reward for the faithful....it is His gift to the empty, the feeble, and the failing." - Roy Hession - The Calvary Road
Amen to that. A truly exciting thing that has come out of this situation is that I now have a story that I'm excited to tell people about. God has opened the door for me to share my personal story of God's salvation and grace with several people, including one of my teachers at one of my schools. Please pray that God would continue to open doors and speak to people's hearts through my story. Also, keep praying for the health and safety of my team. I have been blessed with the most awesome team on earth (or at least, on Kinmen maybe). They're all people I can be myself with, and who make me laugh; as well as being wise, godly older people who inspire and build me up spiritually. I am so grateful.
Perhaps I should close with a "Thanks God...!" as our pastor's wife so oft' and aptly puts it...
May you be gripped and astonished by His grace,
Rachel Grindall
