I sit here in front of my laptop with a very blank screen in front of me and, most likely, a very blank look on my face to match. So much has happened that I could write about, and yet I don’t even know where to begin. I was informed by several of my teammates in Hong Kong that they actually read my updates. The thought that people might actually take time to read what I write is, honestly, quite horrifying and suddenly I’m sitting here wishing that I’d written lousier updates so people wouldn’t read them and then I wouldn’t have to worry about writing something good every time. I think I’ll just tell you about some of the funny things that have happened recently- maybe that will give you a glimpse into the randomocity of life for us weirdos in Taiwan…
The fun started when my group of nine of us foreign teachers got to Hong Kong. We went through customs and all and traipsed through the airport to find our bus. We went the wrong way several times and met some nice people- I think the helpful chap with the McDonalds bag was my favorite. Eventually Tony got the brilliant idea to ask someone where we were supposed to go. They directed us to the hotel bus curb, which was really simple to find- all you had to do was go all the way through the airport, turn after you see all the taxis, go past several sinister looking guards, and keep walking for about three and a half minutes after you stopped seeing other human beings walking around.
Once we found the place we all went outside to get on the bus. Well the guy is like “you can’t get on the bus- you have to go upstairs to exchange the tickets!” We’re all like Huh? We have tickets- can’t we just get on? But noooo… So Tony takes all of our tickets and heads upstairs. We’re sitting outside waiting next to the sign that says “no waiting” watching the people walk by and get right on the bus when finally Tony comes back wearing this enormous sticker on his chest. We all bust up laughing and he begins to recount his little adventure. He went upstairs, found the desk, and got our tickets exchanged or whatever he was supposed to be doing. The lady evidently asked him which hotel we were staying at. She writes the name of our hotel on this enormous rectangular sticker with the bus company’s name on it, and then she’s like “come closer”. Tony leans over and she sticks this HUGE sticker on his chest. Then she tells him that he must wear the sticker on his chest so the bus driver recognizes him. Furthermore, his eight friends must stand close to him so the bus driver knows who we are too.
Well, while he was upstairs the midnight bus left so we have to wait for the last bus, which comes at 12:30. So we all sit down to wait and laugh at Tony. This bus drives up and we all go stand close to it so they know we’re there. Tony walks up to the window and is flashing his sticker, pointing to it, jumping up and down…yeah, I’m sure if you know Tony you can imagine… The bus driver seems to think this is quite hilarious also, but he begins to get slightly annoyed when Tony begins to interfere with his nap and gets out of the bus to tell us that we can’t leave yet cause we have to wait for the “staff” (whoever that is). A second bus pulls up behind the first one and we all go up to that one, thinking maybe that was it, but the guy is like “No, no, no- not yet!” So we’re standing in between the two busses- us “eight friends” are all standing close to Tony and Tony is making sure everyone can see his sticker quite clearly. Every other person who walks out the door gets to board the bus right away while we’re standing there watching in dismay as our first bus up and drives off! We were all about to scream and run after it but finally the “staff” announced that NOW we could get on the bus. I think they just got a kick out of torturing us- we were certainly their entertainment for the evening…
Less than a week later, my team was teaching at an elementary school about two hours into the mountains of Nantou. I had been looking forward to teaching at this school, as two of my good friends had taught at the school and told me a lot about it. It was a really nice school, and everything was going according to plan- we started out with a large group with the whole school (only about 80-some students). Mai and I were singing to a few of the students during the break when Chase comes up to me with a rather odd look on his face. He informs me that it’s my birthday and the school bought me a cake so I needed to act surprised when they showed up with it. Well, the surprised part should be easy to do… At first I just kind of stood there staring at him, thinking this was some sort of joke. Soon I realized that he was being serious- and sure enough, after the next class several teachers came in with a big cake with a “?” candle on the top. Kind of what I was thinking too- “?” I acted surprised (of course, I WAS surprised but not quite in the way they were expecting) and they were so excited that they knew it was my birthday. I even got a big bouquet of flowers… Later we were mulling over how in the world they got the idea that it was my birthday- I mean, it was February 25th and my birthday is July 19th. Finally we figured out that it was the Hualien Christina’s birthday and there had been some mix-up about which Christina’s birthday it was. Oh well- the cake was really good…
Tuesdays always crack me up because not only do I have this totally wild and crazy 6th grade class, but during breaks all these kids come to recite their English dialog for me so I can sign their paper. I guess it’s a requirement for all the kids in the school or something. Anyway the funny part is that some of these kids that come to me for help can barely read Chinese, much less English. I have this one little guy who especially cracks me up- he must be in first or second grade. Every break he comes up to my desk, sidles up to me, sticks his paper in front of my face, and whispers “bu hui nien” (which basically means he can’t recite it). So then I say the dialog and he “repeats after me”. Normally, however, what I say and what he says are vastly different. What starts out as “I’m going to the Principal’s office” ends up sounding more like “Ima going…” and then he forgets the rest and inserts his own jibberish until he feels like it should be about time for the sentence to end. Sometimes I just have to laugh... another perk of Tuesdays is my wild 6th grade class. Those kids are naughty beyond all reason but I love them anyway. I guess I just love mischievous boys… There’s this one boy who almost always greets me with “hey man” except for the one time he realized I was not a man and said “hey woman” instead. They’re a little harder to teach and I’ve even “as-close-to-yelling-as-Christina-gets” at them a couple of times, but it’s still probably my favorite class. Anyway, this update is getting really long so I shall sign off for now. Keep us in your prayers, especially as those of us in Nantou and Jiji prepare for two back to back teachers conferences on March 19th and 25th. Thanks!!
Congratulations, you’ve officially reached the end of my update. Good for you! If you scrolled down to read the end first so you could see who wrote this and decide if you wanted to read it or not, THAT’S CHEATING so you don’t get any good baby stickers…
Christina “Kai Shi” Moody
Proud member of the Ying Pan team
